I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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