no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
