Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
