They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
