47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
