so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
