did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
