So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
