I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
