Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
