well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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