he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
