hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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