did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There are leaves in my underwear?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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