I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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