WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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