I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
