Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
