Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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