I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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