no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
