So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
