For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
