super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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