my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Who died my cat blue again?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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