our cab driver is having phone sex.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
