You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
