Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
