I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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