Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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