if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
