A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
