I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There r osticjed everywhere
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
