i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
