i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
