Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
should my penis look like a turkey
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
