you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize