Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
