yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
