your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
