it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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