Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
