their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
