woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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