I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
