He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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