do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
