69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
