Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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