We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
