Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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