Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
