Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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