I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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